• Jake Sawyer

The Hot Dog Days of Summer

It's HOT DOG DAY NEXT WEEK 🌭 … but it’s also summertime, so why not make it hot dog SEASON?!?

Let’s start with a brainbuster: If a hot dog goes into an intestine when it's made, but into YOUR intestine when you eat it... you just become the hot dog’s new casing because you're it's newly assigned intestine…. Which ends up meaning after you eat it, it doesn’t stop being a hot dog.


Anyway... Since you're part hot dog, you should probably read on for some important news for all hot dog-kind.


In case being a hot dog casing doesn’t provide enough of a case for you to celebrate hot dog season here are three more reasons you should be celebrating:


Hot dogs are the ideal ‘one-in-a-while’ treat. 🌭


The art of hot dog concoction is such a rush. Picasso actually started his art career making hot dogs (don’t fact-check us on that. It’s not in the history books). 🌭


Hot dogs are hands down the ultimate food to go with a cold beer. 🌭


To be quite FRANK… we should probably go deeper on this celebration. Thanks to the high level intelligence and creative skillset of our friends over at Oskar Blues Brewery, we’ve discovered the perfect drinks from their extensive lineup to pair with our favorite hot dog masterpieces.


The Chicago Dog

The all-time classic Windy City overload. Add ingredients in the order listed below, and wherever you do… don’t ruin this artful concoction with ketchup or you’ll find yourself in a jail cell in Chicago until the White Sox win another World Series (It might be a while).

  • All beef frankfurter

  • Poppyseed bun

  • Yellow mustard

  • Sweet green pickle relish

  • Chopped onion

  • Tomato wedges

  • Pickle spear

  • Sport peppers

  • Dash of celery salt

If you don’t wind up in a Chicago prison cell, there’s a beer that might just be created specifically to boost your enjoyment of this hot diggity: Oskar's Lager


Corn Dog

One day, some brilliant mind said, “I’m sick of eating a hot dog on a bun. Why not batter this puppy up and put it on a stick?” And the almighty corn dog was born. Great for children ages 2-100, there really isn’t anyone without teeth who doesn’t enjoy a hot dog on a stick. Corn dogs will be here until the end of time, so you might as well make the most of it!


And of course… for children ages 21+ you’ll need a beer for your corn dog… unfortunately no one has invented beer on a stick yet, so here’s the best possible alternative: Mama's Little Yella Pils


Memphis Dog

This hot dog is not for the faint of heart. In fact, it might make your heart faint… but scope this gourmet glizzy and try and tell us you don’t want one:

  • Bacon-wrapped hot dog

  • BBQ sauce

  • Shredded cheddar cheese

  • Scallions

Obviously a glizzy with this amount of oomph is going to require a beer with the same… Oomph, there it is: Can-O-Bliss Citra Double IPA


Footlong

The peak of innovation. Take all the goodness of a hot dog, and double its length Mother of dogs, breaker of barriers. If a regular hot dog was Kevin Hart, this is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. The tandem bicycle of dogs. The godfather of glizzies. Joey Chestnut can only eat one per minute… It takes a while.


Luckily, Oskar Blues has a slow-sippin’ beer to keep you occupied while you chomp away at this long doggy: G'Knight Imperial Red Ipa


Ballpark Dog

The all-time classic. For some reason, watching baseball, going to a game, or even stumbling past a baseball highlight on Instagram fully triggers something within all of us. The unwavering desire to shamelessly cram a ballpark hot dog into our mouths. It’s one of the best things about being a person.


Speaking of shameless mouth cramming, here’s a classic beer to accompany a classic dog: Dale's Pale Ale


Upton’s Updog Vegan Hot Dogs

In case you want a dog without a catch, and you didn’t stop reading after you saw the Memphis Dog, the world has evolved to create all the flavor and satisfaction of a good old fashioned hot dog without any of the meat. The Updog is for those who are ready to challenge the status quo and go where most hot dog munchin’ maniacs dare not tread.


Since we have alternative options in mind, we’ll have to deviate from the beer scene for a moment to lay down the ultimate beverage for the Updog: Wild Basin Hard Seltzer


If you aren’t eating a celebratory hot dog yet, we hope this list helps you out. And since we started with a brain-busting thought, we might as well end with a brain-busting question that’s been burning in our minds…


Is a hot dog a sandwich?


If you have an answer, or think you have an answer, please direct all comments to our Instagram page @handofftech to engage in lively debate or blow our minds.