5 Fresh Handoff Life Hacks to Simplify Your Booze Experience
The cure for cheap vodka, the art of sneaking wine, and a few extra tricks to help you drink smarter, not harder.
We’ve hit a point in locking down and masking up where we’ve cozied up to an existential crisis. Are we even here? Not sure… but the world keeps turning and we’re keeping our heads on a swivel. That said, we’re all spending an abundant amount of time at home. Some of us have found solutions to the day-to-day frustrations of working from home. Some people have gotten dogs because I guess it’s #PuppySeason. Some have jimmy-rigged in-home gyms. Some people have even come to the conclusion that we do NOT, in fact, exist at all and taken to parading around the house in their old Batman costume.
That said, the obvious solution to the monotony of spending every waking minute in the same place and/or existential crisis is to drink a little more than normal. In July, we created a list of Handoff Life Hacks to conquer some of the peculiar frustrations that seem to surface when drinking. In case you missed round one, check out this blog post from mid-July.
The good news: Drinking in a Batman costume is exponentially more fun than drinking in your standard grease-stained WFH sweats and tee shirt.
The bad news: It isn’t scientifically proven that drinking more can help solve an existential crisis…. yet. We’re working on proof in the Handoff Lab.
The medium news: Here’s a list of 5 new Life Hacks that might help you weed your way through some of the funky frustrations of drinking… money, headaches, fridge space… time to hack your life to bring some sanity to your beverage haven.
What if you could drink high-quality vodka for super cheap? Sounds like a pipe dream… or does it? If you take cheap vodka and pour it through a Brita filter, it will purify the vodka so you can level up from Smirnoff to Belvedere without spending the extra money. The filter will weed out all of the gunk that makes it taste gnarly af. Easy, cheap, delicious… I mean, come on. If only we could run our brains through a Brita filter and get the same result…
- Save money. Drink better. Handoff.
(Not sure why, but that sounds like a familiar slogan)
Not everyone is a middle-aged dad with a “beer fridge” in the garage, so fridge space tends to run thin sometimes. But are you going to drink warm beer? Absolutely not. To create more fridge space for your beers, try attaching a binder clip to one of your shelves so you can stack a pyramid of beer in there without taking up too much space. You might even be able to fit an entire 15-pack of Goose Island IPAs in there if your placement is on point.
- Save space in the fridge.
- Don’t worry about a bottle being too tall to fit on a certain shelf.
- Keep a stock of cold backup beers for the work from home days that extend beyond the hours of 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.
The Saucy Sneak
Occasionally, we have meetings on the back end of the day. After a long day, it always helps to mix in a glass of wine to combat the onset of delirium, but it’s not exactly easy to hide a glass of wine unless you strategize. Try pouring some Line 39 Sauvignon Blanc into a coffee mug for a sneaky taste of the good stuff while you endure the final moments of your workday. You can Slack your coworkers and let them know the trick so the final meeting of the day ends up turning into happy hour… but don’t tell your boss! Unless you are the boss… in which case you should probably keep it under wraps.
- Wine at work… it’s that simple.
Sidenote: Handoff does not condone the use of alcohol on the job… but what nobody knows won’t hurt them 😎🍷
Make A Dent
More often than not, you’re enjoying a couple of beers with other people. But what if you’re all drinking the same beer? Maybe the squad favorite is Upslope's Craft Lager. Try denting your can in a specific place to keep track of your beer when you put it down… this is a COVID friendly way to limit accidental sharing of beverages. Personally, I swoop my tab to the left and dent it under the mouth of the can. It’s a foolproof way to keep your drink yours.
- Avoid the occasional beer mixup… which is especially important when you have more beer in your can than everyone else.
- Keep track of how many cans you’ve consumed. Safe drinking, baby!
- Develop a trademark beer dent as an indicator of how cool you are.
Headache Hot Take
Ok… this one is bold, but we thought we would give it a shot. We would love some feedback on this one. This is a quick, easy, delicious recipe to help naturally eliminate hangover headaches (unfortunately not the entire hangover, but it’s better than nothing). Mix three clapped mint leaves, one organic lemon, and a few slices of organic cucumber with a cup of purified water. Drink throughout the day to send that bummer of a headache into the abyss! Welcome to Rejuvenation-ville. (Rejuvination-ville is a suburb of Flavortown). Please email email@example.com if you have a more effective solution. We would love to hear about it.
- No hangover headache (hopefully it works for more than just the surefire professionals in the Handoff Lab… but might have a good placebo effect? Let us know).
- Mix up a full pitcher before you start drinking so you can combat the hangover immediately after you wake up!
Know any life hacks we haven’t covered yet? Email firstname.lastname@example.org with any quick tricks you might have. We would love to try something with a blow torch or a chainsaw because power tools are just too much fun. Let us know!